Chapter 1: I’ve Just Seen a Face
Jess Renazari stalked down the hall. He’d figured regular high school wouldn’t be as bad as the delinquent school he’d been in. It was worse. He scowled and wondered again how he always found trouble. At this school it was with some idiot Brandon, the quarterback of the football team. As if on cue he heard Brandon’s voice behind him. Keeping his head down he picked up the pace, hoping to avoid him.
A hand landed on his shoulder. He shook it off. The hand returned and spun him around. Jess forced himself to unclench the fist he’d automatically made and, looking at the ground instead of Brandon, asked, “What’d you want?
Brandon came close enough that Jess could smell his breath. Coffee and Doritos. A disgusting combination. A spray of warm spit landed on his cheek as Brandon said, “You don’t seem to get that Courtney is my girlfriend. Back off her.”
Jess scrubbed at his face with the back of his hand. He took a few deep breaths, the way his therapist kept telling him to. It didn’t work. He heard the judge’s voice in his head. This is your last chance Jess.
He released his fingers from the knot they’d re-formed and tried to explain. Again. “Listen man, Courtney keeps talking to me. Not the other way around.”
He released his fingers from the knot they’d re-formed and tried to explain. Again. “Listen man, Courtney keeps talking to me. Not the other way around.”
Brandon’s muddy brown eyes remained uncomprehending. “That’s a load of shit. I see you so much as look at her again and I’m gonna beat your ass.”
Jess’s hands locked around his books, holding onto them the way a drowning man might cling to a life preserver, but he lowered his eyes back to the floor and said, “Sure man, whatever.”
Brandon turned to go and saw some of his football buddies walking past. He raised his voice. “Last warning Renazari.” He underlined the threat with a punch to the lockers. The resulting clang guaranteed people would notice. Loud laughter reverberated though the hallway. Brandon’s chest swelled as he swaggered over to join his friends.
Jess closed his eyes, leaning against the lockers. When the bell rang he stayed where he was. For the moment he didn’t care about anything but cooling the temper that threatened to burn his willpower like kindling.
His mind was stuck in playback mode, the scene with Brandon projecting against the back of his eyelids. On his fourth viewing he allowed himself to visualize an alternate ending. One where Brandon lay on the ground, bloody and crying in front of his buddies. The image fueled Jess’s temper and his face heated. Clenching his jaw, he slammed his head into the lockers, once and then again.
The pain effectively obliterated the rest of the movie. Jess took a shaky breath. If they removed him from his latest foster home it was straight back to jail, do not pass Go—do not collect $200. His hand automatically went to his pocket, fingering his release slip which he kept as a reminder to never let himself get locked up again.
Besides, if he got in any more fights they’d never send him back to his mother.
At the thought of seeing her again the tide of his temper finally drew back.
He pushed himself away from the lockers and looked around. The hallways were empty, except for one or two stragglers. He sighed and congratulated himself on acting like a coward again. Walking a few steps to the water fountain he bent over to get a drink.
He felt the hand land on his head, shoving him down too quickly for him to stop it. Time slowed as the cold water rushed up at him and his mouth slammed into the silver spicket.There was a quick, sharp pain and then the spurt of warm blood mixing with the water.
Things rapidly sped back up as Jess turned, his fist automatically swinging, driving into someone’s chin. He followed it with another blow to the side of the face and heard the familiar thud as his opponent hit the ground.
His reaction had been swift, driven by instinct, not anger. Now his hands fell limply to his side. Brandon’s best friend, Andrew, lay prostrate at his feet. Jess let out a low string of curses, scanning the hallway for possible witnesses. Nobody was around but one small boy, who couldn’t have been more than a freshman. The boy gawked with wide, terrified eyes.
Jess took a step towards him. “What’re the chances you could forget you saw that?”
Jess took a step towards him. “What’re the chances you could forget you saw that?”
The boy put his hands up and blurted, “We’re cool man” before taking off in the other direction; another quick glance showed nobody else in sight. Jess looked back at Andrew, who was groaning now, blood and saliva dribbling from his fat lip to his chin. He’d be fine. He was positive Andrew would lie about what happened. No guy would admit he’d gotten his ass kicked by the new kid.
Without sparing Andrew another glance he ducked down low, banged on one of the classroom doors so someone would find the kid, and took off…turning the corner and sprinting down different hallways, getting as far as he could from the scene of his latest crime.
***
Cacey Adams sat in the cafeteria by herself, reading Advanced Physics with one hand and eating an apple with the other. A plate of untouched food was pushed to the side, making room for a few more books and a pile of papers covered in neat notes.
At the sound of loud laughter she glanced up, narrowing her eyes when she saw Courtney and the rest of her crew taunting a few of the new freshmen girls. She shook her head in disgust; one of the girls looked close to tears.
Her hand went to her backpack and she reached inside, feeling for the slingshot she’d brought with her for a situations like this. She’d gotten it off the internet a couple of years ago after watching a movie in which the heroine had defended herself against a variety of criminals with nothing but her wits and a slingshot. She’d ended up being good with it—good enough to easily hit Courtney from across the cafeteria. She slipped it out of her bag, keeping it hidden under the table.
There was another spurt of laughter and she looked up to see one of the freshmen girls burst into tears and run out of the cafeteria. Her friend was quick to follow. Cacey felt a surge of anger and slid the slingshot up her sleeve.
She looked at Courtney’s table again just as Courtney looked up and saw her. Their eyes met and Courtney leaned over and said something to the girls around her.Even five tables away Cacey heard the words, “homeschooled freak.” There was an explosion of laughter and most of the girls at the table turned and looked at her.
Cacey felt heat climb up her cheeks and dropped her head, hiding behind her long dark hair. The looks of pure disdain raining down on her from Courtney’s table were enough to douse her small flame of rebellion. She grabbed her backpack, letting her slingshot fall back in. Keeping her head low, she tossed the half eaten apple into the trash and dumped the tray of food. She quickly gathered her books and papers and started walking towards the outside eating area.
Never once looking up, she made her way through the crowded lunchroom. If she cut through the courtyard she could spend fifteen minutes in the library. She moved faster as the laughter from Courtney’s table continued. From the corner of her eye she saw a few of Courtney’s friends get up and head for the same door as her. Cacey sped up and opened the door. The second her foot hit the asphalt she felt a slight shove from behind as a high-heeled boot slipped in front of her.
She went flying, hitting the ground hard and sliding a few feet before coming to a stop. Tears of humiliation burned her eyes but she grit her teeth, refusing to let them fall. She stood up carefully, glancing down to see that her jeans were torn, her knees bloody, her hands scraped.
Behind her the door was still open. The laughter was much louder. She heard a girl say, “Oops. Sorry. She’s so small, I totally didn’t even see her.” Courtney’s laughter rang above everyone else’s.
“Are you okay Cacey?” She looked up to see Mr. Buxley, her Science teacher from Sophomore year. He shut the door behind him, bringing a merciful end to Courtney’s cackling.
She nodded, blinking back tears and gathering her stuff.
“Are you okay Cacey?” She looked up to see Mr. Buxley, her Science teacher from Sophomore year. He shut the door behind him, bringing a merciful end to Courtney’s cackling.
She nodded, blinking back tears and gathering her stuff.
“What happened?
“Nothing…I tripped.”
Mr. Buxley asked, “Are you sure?”
She hesitated and then nodded.
She heard the teacher sigh. “Alright. Why don’t you go down to the nurse’s office? She can fix you up.”
“Okay.” She managed to give Mr. Buxley a small smile.
He smiled back and wrote her out a pass. As he handed it to her he said, “Keep your head up Cacey.”
She had a feeling he was talking about more than watching where she was going. She just nodded again, wondering if he had any idea how hard that could be sometimes.
***
Jess hurried down the hall. He was on the other end of the school now and just needed to find a bathroom and get cleaned up; he had blood all over his shirt. As he jogged he touched his mouth gingerly. He felt a crusty scab forming, still wet in the middle.
His mind worked fast, wondering if he’d be questioned about Andrew, wondering if the freshman would talk, wondering how to explain cutting class. He sped up as he turned a corner and cursed as someone slammed into him. Books and papers went flying.
His anger disappeared at the sight of a girl sprawled at his feet.
”Hey…you alright?”
She didn’t answer him, just barely nodded, while slowly sitting up. Her pants were torn, her knees bloody. He felt a stinging prick of guilt. “Hey…you’re bleeding. I’m really sorry. You sure you’re alright?”
She nodded again and said softly, “It wasn’t you. I was already going to the nurse. You can go.”
Her voice cracked and he heard her sniffle. Now that she’d sat up he could see how small she was. He’d probably felt like a linebacker to her. Damn it. He bent over, helping gather her books and papers. When he had her stuff together he crouched on one knee, holding it out to her.
She didn’t get up, but took her things. “Thanks.”
Dark hair covered her face; he couldn’t tell if she was crying. Feeling awkward, he asked again, “You okay now?”
She nodded before pushing her hair aside and finally looking up.
Dark hair covered her face; he couldn’t tell if she was crying. Feeling awkward, he asked again, “You okay now?”
She nodded before pushing her hair aside and finally looking up.
His breath curled into a ball that lodged in the back of his throat. He had a quick impression of pale skin surrounded by acres of dark hair…but all he could really see was her eyes.
Déjà vu twined through him. Not necessarily remembrance or recognition…not as if he’d seen or done this before. But something. Like she was the memory of a dream…or the dream of a memory. He took a deep breath. The air was laced with the sweet scent of Magnolia. It made him slightly dizzy.
He blinked and the strangeness receded as quickly as it had come, leaving him crouching on cold tile, staring at a girl he didn’t know. He felt the first twinge of embarrassment, but it wasn’t strong enough to make him look away. He’d never seen anyone with eyes her color.
They made him think of the sky at twilight. Indigo blue overlaid with the purple streaks of a setting sun. They were set off by a thick fringe of dark, spiky lashes–still wet with tears. Indigo tears. It would be a cool title for a song. Unconsciously, he strummed his fingers against his jeans, hearing the opening chords in his head.
***
Cacey pulled herself into a sitting position, wondering if this day could get any worse. When the guy who’d plowed into her didn’t leave she felt a flash of anger. She was humiliated and close to tears. She wanted to be left alone.
When he bent to help gather her stuff the anger faded.
The clumsy oaf obviously felt bad about squashing her like a bug.
He crouched to hand it to her.
Fighting to keep her voice from shaking she said, “Thanks.”
She waited for him to take the hint and leave. Instead, he asked if she was okay. Again. She sighed and looked up, meaning to assure him he could go.
The clumsy oaf obviously felt bad about squashing her like a bug.
He crouched to hand it to her.
Fighting to keep her voice from shaking she said, “Thanks.”
She waited for him to take the hint and leave. Instead, he asked if she was okay. Again. She sighed and looked up, meaning to assure him he could go.
She let out a low gasp as her heart tripped and tumbled to her feet. His eyes were dark–fathomless. Staring into her own. She felt a sharp pull in her heart, like he’d reached inside her and tugged. He smelled like…Magnolia blossoms. Weird. She put her hand to her head, wondering if she’d knocked something loose when she’d fallen.
He touched her arm. “You okay? Do you need some help?”
She shook her head slowly, knowing she probably looked dimwitted, but unable to care. Her brain had short-circuited, unable to process his…flawlessness.
He had longish dark hair that ended in small curls. His skin was burnished a light shade of copper. And his eyes…wow. They weren’t black, like she’d originally thought. Sunlight streaming through a nearby window revealed rich veins of emerald embedded in the slate. He looked like a Senior. She’d never seen him in any of her classes though.
He probably didn’t take AP courses though. He didn’t look like the type. His clothes were old, his jeans torn, his shirt stained. It didn’t matter. Nothing could disguise how mind-numbingly gorgeous he was.
He probably didn’t take AP courses though. He didn’t look like the type. His clothes were old, his jeans torn, his shirt stained. It didn’t matter. Nothing could disguise how mind-numbingly gorgeous he was.
She was so awestruck it took her a minute to realize his shirt had blood on it, not stains. His lip was swollen too. Like he’d been in a fight. She saw the question that came into his eyes and realized she was blatantly staring. She hastily stood up. She’d shot to her feet too fast though, and between that and the dull ache in her knees, she stumbled and almost went right back down.
He put out his hand, steadying her. She grabbed it and felt a warm tingle sink through her skin and travel all the way up her arm.
He put out his hand, steadying her. She grabbed it and felt a warm tingle sink through her skin and travel all the way up her arm.
Sounding concerned he asked, “Do you need help walking?”
She let go of him. “No. I’m fine. I’m sorry I ran into you.” She felt embarrassed when her voice came out barely over a whisper.
He frowned. “I’m the one who should be saying sorry.”
“It’s okay.” She managed to speak a little louder this time. She gestured to his swollen mouth. “I didn’t do that, did I?”
She hadn’t-she knew that-but she wanted an excuse to keep looking at him.
He shook his head but didn’t offer any further information.
She realized she was practically drooling and made an attempt to drag her eyes away, but then he gave her a small, uncertain looking smile, which revealed a deep dimple. She felt herself flush and managed to stammer thanks again, even as her knees turned to Jell-O.
***
Jess looked at the girl in front of him, wondering how to casually ask her name. He’d shaken off the daze she’d put him in with those eyes of hers, but still couldn’t think of how to strike up a conversation.
She was cute. Pretty yes…but more cute. Between the long hair, huge eyes and tiny stature, she looked almost elfin. That wasn’t why he couldn’t speak though. He’d seen cuter girls. He’d seen incredibly hot girls. Not one of them had ever rendered him speechless.
Something about this girl felt…different.
It was probably just because he’d hurt her. What the hell was he supposed to say? Hey, I just almost knocked you into next week. Sooo, what’s your name? Yeah, right. Damn it.
Why did she keep staring at him? The school wasn’t huge. He was new. Maybe she wondered why she’d never seen him?
He smiled at her. He felt his mouth throb. The light stopped feebly flickering and finally turned on. God he was a jackass. She’d already asked about his mouth. He had blood all over him. No wonder she was staring. He looked like an idiot. A disgusting idiot.
Something about this girl felt…different.
It was probably just because he’d hurt her. What the hell was he supposed to say? Hey, I just almost knocked you into next week. Sooo, what’s your name? Yeah, right. Damn it.
Why did she keep staring at him? The school wasn’t huge. He was new. Maybe she wondered why she’d never seen him?
He smiled at her. He felt his mouth throb. The light stopped feebly flickering and finally turned on. God he was a jackass. She’d already asked about his mouth. He had blood all over him. No wonder she was staring. He looked like an idiot. A disgusting idiot.
She thanked him again. He just nodded and turned to go. He moved slowly, reluctant to leave without even getting her name, but too embarrassed now to ask.
A teacher walked rapidly toward him, her face drawn in severe lines. He quickly flipped around to face the girl again. Shit! How had he gotten so caught up he’d forgotten his plan to hide out in the bathroom? God…please…please…just make the teacher keep walking. He heard the click of heels slow. Stop. He was so screwed.
A teacher walked rapidly toward him, her face drawn in severe lines. He quickly flipped around to face the girl again. Shit! How had he gotten so caught up he’d forgotten his plan to hide out in the bathroom? God…please…please…just make the teacher keep walking. He heard the click of heels slow. Stop. He was so screwed.
“Jess Renazari?”
He nodded, keeping his face blank even as his heart tried to thump out of his chest. He wouldn’t be surprised if it jumped right out of his brainless body and left them both behind.
“You’re going to need to come with me.”
Struggling to keep his voice even, he asked, “Is something wrong?”
“Why don’t you tell me Jess? I’ve got a kid laid out in the nurse’s office, claiming someone attacked him. He won’t say who. Here you are, out of class and covered in blood. We were informed of your record when you started here, so you can dispense with the games. You’re in big trouble young man.”
He swallowed hard as his mind scrambled frantically for a lie…and came up with nothing.
***
Cacey’s eyes darted from the teacher to Jess. She’d watched him turn to go and then flip back around. She’d almost had a stroke, thinking he’d turned back to talk to her. But he hadn’t said a word. Just closed his eyes and muttered something under his breath. The color in his face drained so quickly she thought he’d pass out.
Then a teacher stopped to question him and, like a magic trick, the fear…disappeared. His color came back. He looked calm. Almost bored. She knew he was terrified though—maybe because she’d seen it, but she could still feel the waves of panic coming off him.
The teacher reached for his arm and said something about him being in big trouble.Fear pulsed through his eyes again. It was just for a second. Maybe less. That was enough. The words were out of her mouth before she’d fully decided what she’d say.
“Ummm…I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”
The teacher, whose name she couldn’t remember, asked, “Cacey Adams isn’t it?”
She nodded, glad she was semi-famous with all the teachers by way of having skipped three grades and being the only fifteen year old Senior they’d ever had. For once, her reputation as a geek might actually be helpful.
The teacher asked, “What kind of misunderstanding?”
Trying to sound innocent she said, “Jess couldn’t have done anything because he’s been with me.” She could feel the blood rising in her cheeks as she continued, “It’s my fault he’s not in class. I wanted him to meet me during my lunch hour and I talked him into cutting. If anyone should be in trouble it’s me because he didn’t want to cut but I was really persistent.” She trailed off breathlessly, wondering just what she thought she was doing.
The teacher motioned impatiently with her hand. “Go on…”
Cacey could practically feel steam rising off her cheeks, but continued talking. “I was in such a hurry to see him that when he was coming to meet me I was running. I slammed right into him and split his lip and…” she gestured to her knees.
For the first time she looked at Jess. He looked stunned. She hoped he had the sense to wipe the dumbfounded expression off his face before the teacher questioned him.
The teacher asked, “How long have you been with him and why you are just standing here in the hallway?”
Hoping it would cover him she lied, “He’s been with me for about fifteen or twenty minutes now. She gestured toward the corner and stammered “We were just over there…catching up.”
The teacher frowned. “You stood around talking while your knees bled?
The words came out in a choppy, disjointed ramble as Cacey struggled to not hyperventilate. ”Actually, I didn’t realize my…ummm… knees were bleeding…we weren’t talking…we were just…we…were…uh…ummm…”
Jess walked to her side and casually put his arm around her. She looked up at him gratefully as he gave the teacher a sheepish shrug and a very charming smile before saying. “As soon as I realized Cacey was hurt I told her to get to the nurse. Unfortunately, it took us both… quite a while to realize.”
Something brushed the top of her hair. She got the distinct impression he’d just kissed her. She felt her bones start to liqueify. God he smelled good…he smelled like… summer. Switching her books to the other side, she put her arm around him, felt the heat of his back through the thin t-shirt he wore, and realized if her legs got any weaker she was going to be on the floor for the third time that day.
***
Jess watched Cacey stammer and blush, obviously trying to imply they’d been kissing. He managed to get over his shock in time to take over. Clearly she was not an experienced liar.
He put his arm around her and gave the teacher an easy smile. His heart still lurked in the back of his throat though…ready to make a last minute break for it. He prayed the lady would buy this.
He put his arm around her and gave the teacher an easy smile. His heart still lurked in the back of his throat though…ready to make a last minute break for it. He prayed the lady would buy this.
Cacey’s arm went around him and she gazed up into his eyes adoringly. He revised his opinion of her lying abilities.
His eyes returned to the teacher, who now had a small smile. His breath came a tiny bit easier as his stomach dropped back enough to stop blocking his airway.
Cacey asked, “So…are we in trouble?” Without waiting for an answer she looked at him and said, “I’m sorry for asking you to meet me Jess.”
He hugged her a closer. “It’s okay Cace.” The nickname came unbidden to his lips and he felt a faint sense of surprise that was overridden by the need to play this right. Trying to look like a caring boyfriend, he brushed her hair out of her face and tucked it gently behind her ears, adding, “You’re worth it.”
Cacey smiled at him for the first time. His stomach finally abandoned its post in his throat and somersaulted back down to where it belonged. He smiled back as his eyes wandered over her face and landed on her mouth. Would she go along with it if he kissed her?
Tempting…but…it would be a lousy way to repay her help. He contented himself with looking at her instead and noticed the light dusting of freckles that rose in a gentle arch over her nose and cheeks. She was prettier than he’d originally thought, especially since she kept smiling shyly, peeking up at him through those insanely long lashes. His heart kicked back up to overdrive, but this time it had nothing to do with a desire to escape.
He heard a cough and, with an effort, drug his eyes away from Cacey. The teacher watched them, looking mildly amused. “Alright…I’m not going to bust you for cutting this time Jess. You have your girlfriend’s reputation to thank for that. Next time you won’t be so lucky. I suggest you get to a bathroom to clean up and then get yourself back to class.”
The teacher’s eyes returned to Cacey and she frowned. “As for you Miss Adams, I would have expected better. And speaking of reputations, you might want to safeguard yours a little more carefully.”
The teacher shot him a meaningful look that made him want to slink away. He pretended oblivion, but kept his eyes averted. He didn’t want to see Cacey’s reaction to being warned off of him. He couldn’t bring himself to remove his arm yet though.
Cacey said, “Thank you.”
He chanced a peek at her. Their eyes met and he didn’t see judgment. Just curiosity.
The teacher’s eyes returned to Cacey and she frowned. “As for you Miss Adams, I would have expected better. And speaking of reputations, you might want to safeguard yours a little more carefully.”
The teacher shot him a meaningful look that made him want to slink away. He pretended oblivion, but kept his eyes averted. He didn’t want to see Cacey’s reaction to being warned off of him. He couldn’t bring himself to remove his arm yet though.
Cacey said, “Thank you.”
He chanced a peek at her. Their eyes met and he didn’t see judgment. Just curiosity.
The teacher sighed. “I meant now Mr. Renazari.”
He reluctantly stepped away. “I’ll see you later Cacey.”
She nodded and moved back a little. He turned to go with the teacher, but then turned back and, putting a hand on Cacey’s shoulder, lightly kissed her cheek. A small shock—like a spark from a firework–shot through him, not burning out till somewhere around his feet.
Damn. He lingered for a long second, trying to force himself away from the siren call of her mouth. If he kissed her how he now wanted to she’d deck him. That would be bad. For more reasons than one. Instead, he leaned in and whispered, “thanks,” which was all he had time to say before the teacher took his arm and marched him firmly in the other direction.
Damn. He lingered for a long second, trying to force himself away from the siren call of her mouth. If he kissed her how he now wanted to she’d deck him. That would be bad. For more reasons than one. Instead, he leaned in and whispered, “thanks,” which was all he had time to say before the teacher took his arm and marched him firmly in the other direction.
***
Cacey watched Jess leave, feeling overwhelmingly…surprised. She didn’t do things like that. She didn’t lie to teachers. She didn’t cover-up for guys that were covered in blood. And she absolutely didn’t get kissed by guys that looked like they’d just stepped off a movie-screen.
She leaned against the lockers, smiling a little. Her cheek still tingled. As a little girl she’d always wondered what pixie dust felt like. One time she’d taken the light from a firefly and squeezed the glow onto her fingers. Her skin lit up, but she hadn’t felt anything. Except guilty that she’d hurt the firefly. She’d never hurt them again. She’d forgotten all about pixie dust. Until now. She looked at her arm where he’d touched her, half expecting to see it shimmer.
The first bell rang, bringing her rudely back to the real world. Her knees hurt, her notes were torn and unreadable, and she was going to be late for her next class.
Deciding to skip the nurse’s office, she headed for the bathroom at the end of the hall. Once there she washed the blood off her knees before glancing in the mirror. Old fashioned hair framed a face that was too pale, too plain and entirely too young looking.
Why couldn’t she be pretty enough for a guy like that to kiss her and mean it? Why couldn’t she be tan with blond hair and willowy legs? Why did she have to be so stupidly blah?
The teacher was incredibly gullible to believe a guy like Jess would date her.She’d gotten lucky. It had been dumb to risk lying like that. She frowned, hoping she’d done the right thing. He may have deserved whatever he’d been about to get. Apparently he already had a reputation.
Still, maybe he hadn’t earned his anymore than she’d earned hers. She couldn’t have walked away. He’d looked too scared. She’d felt…compelled…to help him. Almost like she hadn’t had a choice.The whole thing had been kind of strange.
Or maybe not. He’d been nice to her when everyone else acted like she had radiation poisoning.
Still, maybe he hadn’t earned his anymore than she’d earned hers. She couldn’t have walked away. He’d looked too scared. She’d felt…compelled…to help him. Almost like she hadn’t had a choice.The whole thing had been kind of strange.
Or maybe not. He’d been nice to her when everyone else acted like she had radiation poisoning.
That alone was reason enough to help him.
And at least she’d gotten a very nice payback. Of course, he’d only kissed her because he was grateful or to fool the teacher…but he’d done it. She figured a kiss on the cheek from a guy like that was worth at least ten real kisses from a regular guy.
She put her hand on her cheek, imagined she could still feel it tingling, and smiled.
She put her hand on her cheek, imagined she could still feel it tingling, and smiled.
